This week has been a week of a lot going on personally and professionally. Over the weekend my dad was in town for my parents' anniversary and we also went to visit my grandmother. We all went to see The Help (which I will have to blog about the film another time) and then went to my favorite bbq place Courtney's. We had a good time together and it was nice to be back in SC where my grandmother lives and go to her house and see all the photos on the wall and hear about how family we haven't seen in a long time is doing. At the first of the week my oldest male cousin on my mom's side turned 17. I cannot believe he is already most of the way through his teen years and heading off to college next year. I remember when he was born and seeing him at all the different ages and stages of his life. It's just a reminder of how quickly time passes. Then I found out the news yesterday that my grandfather's second wife had passed away after a sudden illness. I think she was in her late 80s or early 90s but news of her passing away brought back memories of my grandfather who has been deceased for 15 years now and just remembering the times that we had with them and with her. She used to race down the road in Warrenton to get us hot dogs or take naps on the couch with one of their several dogs. I found myself wishing that we had been closer and that we had maintained the relationship with her after my grandfather passed away. My mom articulated the same feelings. I think for a while it was tough to even think of going there because of the absence of my grandfather and then it just became one of those trips or visits that you talk about taking but sadly never do. In this past year several family members have passed away or have had serious illnesses and I think it has made me and my family remember how much we need to be there for each other and maintain our relationships with one another. We get caught up in our own stuff for a time and then you get the news that something has happened to someone and with news of someone passing away you realize you have no more opportunities to connect or share with that person. It just made me reflect a lot on my life, the past, present and future, as I think moments like this do.
The next biggest thing was the acceptance I received to work with a museum in Charlotte doing some educational contract work with them. I'm really excited about the opportunity and really glad that they have agreed to bring me on board. But I had the realization that Charlotte is where I am to be, maybe not forever, but at least for now. As I have voiced many times on this blog for a long time it was DC, then it was NY. I never even thought that Charlotte would be an option as a place to live again for me. But like I have said before this may be my Nineveh. The place I don't necessarily want to go or be but the place that the Lord has for me. I'm excited for the museum work and excited for being able to do some work that is in line with my career goals but it is an adjustment accepting that this is where I am going to be doing this work. And it's an adjustment moving on from the hope of living in NY to the reality of living in Charlotte again. Also I've been in visitor mode for a while with Charlotte and now I guess I begin settling in here again once more. I still have so many questions and I am wondering what the Lord is doing with my life. It seems like when I become comfortable with one thing, He moves me on to the next just as I am becoming adjusted. But I am grateful and thankful that I am beginning to see doors opened and possibilities where none existed before. I know that I am still in the trust test and I believe that the Lord will lead me all the way to what His ultimate goal is for me. I am reminded of when I graduated from college and I was trying to find museum work and there were just no options for me here. I grew frustrated and hopeless. I worked jobs I absolutely hated. But then I decided to study for the GRE and apply for grad school and within several months of graduating college I was accepted to my grad program in Ohio. I thought in May after I graduated that if I didn't get a museum job that my life would be over. And the 17 months until I left for grad school were tough. It was not easy going to a job where I felt targeted and set up to fail at times. It was not easy living at home again after four years of freedom. But I made it through it and it was preparation for the next step in my life that I had no idea was coming when I was trying to figure out what to do. The Lord led me then and He is leading me now. But I feel like whatever is on the other side of this is definitely bigger and better. So there will be a period of adjustment before I feel comfortable being here and feel settled here but I will learn during that time and hopefully be prepared for what is to come.
A side note to all the heavy transitions of the week is that I went to my hairdresser here in Charlotte to get my hair straightened for the meeting I had with the museum. It is the longest that it has ever been in my life. I was shocked. When I wash it, it's all curly-fied and I'm fighting the frizz. I've only been able to see how long it is in the back when I stretch the curls to style my hair. But to me this is an indication that going natural was the right thing for my hair because it is healthy and at its best. I'm still in shock over the length and I am trying to preserve it for another meeting on Friday. I had to get use to seeing myself without a natural since that has been my look for a little while now. But I am enjoying seeing the fruits of my labor with all the care and maintanance it takes to keep a natural hair style going. I work harder on my natural hair than I ever did on my relaxed hair! Also I have to share that I cannot get over the excitement and glee on my mother's face when she saw me for the first time with my hair straightened. Although she has not hidden her true feelings about natural hair and her lack of preference for it, she was practically giddy over the straight hair. I just thought it was hilarious that my mom, who tried to wear an Afro back in the 70s, was rejoicing over straight hair. I was thinking, "This is exactly why I wear a natural. It took an hour and a half to straighten my hair. I didn't like the heat. I don't like the smell of my hair being singed by the flat iron. And I feel like the natural me is being rejected when my hair is straightened because it would never look like it does straight on it's own with out being beaten into submission." But it is only a couple of times a year that I go through this process and if my mother enjoys the outcome for however long it lasts, who am I to stop her. It's like the Good and Bad Hair scene from Spike Lee's School Daze. Let me get off of here!
The next biggest thing was the acceptance I received to work with a museum in Charlotte doing some educational contract work with them. I'm really excited about the opportunity and really glad that they have agreed to bring me on board. But I had the realization that Charlotte is where I am to be, maybe not forever, but at least for now. As I have voiced many times on this blog for a long time it was DC, then it was NY. I never even thought that Charlotte would be an option as a place to live again for me. But like I have said before this may be my Nineveh. The place I don't necessarily want to go or be but the place that the Lord has for me. I'm excited for the museum work and excited for being able to do some work that is in line with my career goals but it is an adjustment accepting that this is where I am going to be doing this work. And it's an adjustment moving on from the hope of living in NY to the reality of living in Charlotte again. Also I've been in visitor mode for a while with Charlotte and now I guess I begin settling in here again once more. I still have so many questions and I am wondering what the Lord is doing with my life. It seems like when I become comfortable with one thing, He moves me on to the next just as I am becoming adjusted. But I am grateful and thankful that I am beginning to see doors opened and possibilities where none existed before. I know that I am still in the trust test and I believe that the Lord will lead me all the way to what His ultimate goal is for me. I am reminded of when I graduated from college and I was trying to find museum work and there were just no options for me here. I grew frustrated and hopeless. I worked jobs I absolutely hated. But then I decided to study for the GRE and apply for grad school and within several months of graduating college I was accepted to my grad program in Ohio. I thought in May after I graduated that if I didn't get a museum job that my life would be over. And the 17 months until I left for grad school were tough. It was not easy going to a job where I felt targeted and set up to fail at times. It was not easy living at home again after four years of freedom. But I made it through it and it was preparation for the next step in my life that I had no idea was coming when I was trying to figure out what to do. The Lord led me then and He is leading me now. But I feel like whatever is on the other side of this is definitely bigger and better. So there will be a period of adjustment before I feel comfortable being here and feel settled here but I will learn during that time and hopefully be prepared for what is to come.
A side note to all the heavy transitions of the week is that I went to my hairdresser here in Charlotte to get my hair straightened for the meeting I had with the museum. It is the longest that it has ever been in my life. I was shocked. When I wash it, it's all curly-fied and I'm fighting the frizz. I've only been able to see how long it is in the back when I stretch the curls to style my hair. But to me this is an indication that going natural was the right thing for my hair because it is healthy and at its best. I'm still in shock over the length and I am trying to preserve it for another meeting on Friday. I had to get use to seeing myself without a natural since that has been my look for a little while now. But I am enjoying seeing the fruits of my labor with all the care and maintanance it takes to keep a natural hair style going. I work harder on my natural hair than I ever did on my relaxed hair! Also I have to share that I cannot get over the excitement and glee on my mother's face when she saw me for the first time with my hair straightened. Although she has not hidden her true feelings about natural hair and her lack of preference for it, she was practically giddy over the straight hair. I just thought it was hilarious that my mom, who tried to wear an Afro back in the 70s, was rejoicing over straight hair. I was thinking, "This is exactly why I wear a natural. It took an hour and a half to straighten my hair. I didn't like the heat. I don't like the smell of my hair being singed by the flat iron. And I feel like the natural me is being rejected when my hair is straightened because it would never look like it does straight on it's own with out being beaten into submission." But it is only a couple of times a year that I go through this process and if my mother enjoys the outcome for however long it lasts, who am I to stop her. It's like the Good and Bad Hair scene from Spike Lee's School Daze. Let me get off of here!
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