Last June I was able to use the Miss Jessie's hair care line for the first time. I used the shampoo, conditioner, styler and moisturizer. I received great results and a lot of compliments as well. Compliments and "How did you get your hair like that," always let you know that you are doing something right. So I continued using these products until I would read about something better or have an experience that led me to wanting to try something else. Last summer I needed a lot of help for my hair. I was finally able to get the hair that I wanted with the help of Miss Jessie's Curly Pudding and a whole slew of other products. My style would only last about three to four days and then I would have to wash again. My life changed dramatically when last November Miss Jessie's had their BOGO and I was able to try the Curly Merigue without the threat of throwing $22 down the drain. Also at this time I first viewed a video about how to get a twist out from Natural Chica aka Mae on YouTube. Curly Meringue totally changed my styling process and the look and feel of my hair. And Mae gave me the steps I needed in order to get the perfect twist out which has now become my "look". I used Curly Meringue for about two months before I ran out and decided to go back to the Curly Pudding that I had left over. To my surprise I could not use Curly Pudding anymore. It dried my hair out and made it very unmanageable and stiff. I was not sure what I was going to do with it. So I just went back to Curly Meringue. I also introduced a clarifying shampoo that I now use everytime that I was in order to get my hair clean after a week's worth of dirt and product build up. So I started to get great results with that which lasted until the spring. Then it was on for a new moisturizer because Curly Buttercreme just wasn't cutting it and I also needed something all natural that wouldn't potentially clog my scalp. I tried Jane Carter Nourish and Shine and although it felt great it just didn't work for me. I also tried the Kera Care Natural Textures Hair Milk but it didn't seem to deliver what I was looking for either. So I decided to go to the Shea Moisture Curl and Style Hair Milk right as I was on the verge of going back to Curly Buttercreme for lack of anything else. Shea Moisture Hair Milk has been a welcomed and much needed addition to my regimen. I use it everyday to twist up my hair at night and to refresh my curls in the morning. It keeps my hair soft and manageable. I also added in the 100% jojoba and tea tree oils to my styling process and they have made a tremendous difference as well. Also I am now using the Shea Moisture Hold and Shine Moisture Mist instead of just water to wet my hair after applying my oils and leave in. I think it has helped with hold and lessening frizz as well. But most importantly I have finally achieved real natural hair. Although I have been natural, without a relaxer, for the last three years I never big chopped and got rid of my relaxed hair. So my hair has been growing out and shedding the relaxed hair for the last three years. But I believe that the changes I am seeing in the curliness and less need for product in my hair are a direct result of actually having my true natural hair on my head now instead of the vestiges of my old relaxed hair hanging on with the natural hair. My hair has never looked so good or felt so good. I am also helping it to grow and stay healthy with regular trims every 6-8 weeks. So its exciting to see how far it has come after three years of natural and only a year of a proper hair care regimen. I am really excited to see it a year from now and to see how far it can go in the next year of being fully natural.
May 26, 2012
I Want to Live
Hello Blog! You have probably forgotten me or thought I had forgotten you but to tell the truth I have just been overwhelmed and busy. The last month has gone by incredibly fast. The hours, days and weeks have just been flying by. But I have had a really good month. I can't really remember my last post (will have to check on that) but I think I was liking what I was doing but still not completely satisfied. Well the last month found me finding a new niche in substitute teaching. I previously had worked with K through 5 and preferred K through 2 if possible because I was experiencing a lot of difficulty with the older kids and trying to manage their behaviour. But then I was assigned to work with Preschool. I was a little apprehensive about it at first but then grew to love working with 4 year olds. 4 year olds are awesome! Even though I come home exhausted it is much less taxing than dealing with the older grades and it is so rewarding working with them because they are so ready and wanting to learn. I have just really enjoyed being with them over the last month. It even has me thinking about whether or not I would like to be a PreK assistant teacher for next year. I have been having difficulty finding a full time job and I have not been able to find any museum jobs either so it might be good to take something that I know I could do. I don't think I would want to do it for the rest of my life but I can say that I don't dislike it. However, the pay is next to nothing and there is a two and half month gap in employment because of being out in the summer. It's not exactly what I have been holding out for the last 4 years but I was thinking that it might help me to get into a better place financially to get to where I want to be. I need to pay off some debts and I need to get a car (actually a used Jeep Cherokee) and also build up a savings. Also I would have benefits too which would be really nice since I have not had those since 2009. So there are perks to it that I don't have now as a sub that would be really great to have. But just this afternoon I was thinking about how in a way I feel guilty for being like, "Being a PreK assistant is not enough and I should just be thankful if I get the job." And on the other hand I feel like, "Being a PreK assistant is not what I want to do and it doesn't help me to have enough money to do anything that I really need or want to do." It's perplexing! I wouldn't mind being a PreK assistant and I love the school where I could potentially work but I do long for something more. I really want to live on my own and have my own life. I don't know that I could do that on an assistant's salary. I would definitely have to have another job. If I decided at some point to be a teacher I would have to go back to school which would probably be stressful but I suppose that I could do it. And then there's the question of whether I should give up my museum job dream. It's what I have wanted to do for so long and I don't know that if I gave up on it now if it might have been fulfilled right around the corner or if I need to go ahead and give it up and just move forward to something else. I feel conflicted about doing either.
But the good thing is that summer is coming. There are less than 10 days of the school year left and I will once again have the time to explore my options. I know that if a full time position does not come through for me over the summer that I can always go back to being a sub. Also I will have time to look for and apply for full time jobs once school is over. And if necessary I hopefully can find a good part time job that can supplement my substitute job once school is back in session. It sounds completely doable and logical, doesn't it? But I can't help but feel like I want more than this. It sounds good and respectable and like I am "doing something" about all this mess that I have found myself in but the truth is that I want so much more. I want to live in an exciting place, I want community and friendship, and I want to feel connected. I love the school that I work at and I love the people there because they are the reason that the school is such a great place to be but I still feel like an outsider there. I also am still not thrilled with Charlotte. Even though I am from here I just don't feel connected or comfortable being here. I think a lot of that does have to do with the fact that I don't have my own car and I don't have a lot of friends here. If I could get out more often and do things more independently I might feel different and if I could do that I might make some good friends and that would make it feel different too. But Charlotte is really not the kind of place that I have imagined myself being in. I like taking the metro/subway, I like walking where I need to go, and I like diversity. Charlotte is doing better on diversity but it doesn't compare in any of these areas to a DC or NYC. You have to drive everywhere to do things, then there isn't really a whole lot to do unless you have the money to participate in going to the opera or traveling companies of broadway shows. And Charlotte, to me, does not have a lot of mid-range activities. It's kind of like family oriented, cost effective fun on one end and then high brow, expensive activities on the other. I guess that there are subsets of Charlotte that I might find enjoyable but I don't know where those are. I guess you can create your own fun wherever you are. There's a neighborhood I have loved here for a longtime called Dilworth and if I ended up staying in Charlotte long term that is where I would like to live. It has great WW II era bungalow houses, sidewalk dining, and it's tree-lined and clean. I really like that neighborhood alot. It's hard to imagine being able to live there on an assistant's salary or even a teacher's salary. And of course I don't want to be living with my mother for the rest of my life. I just wish I could see where I will be down the road. What twists and turns in life will lead me to where I want and need to be? I really want stability. I want to know where I belong. I want to know what my purpose for being in this world is. I want to begin to fulfill that purpose. I want independence. I want a life and I want to live.
But the good thing is that summer is coming. There are less than 10 days of the school year left and I will once again have the time to explore my options. I know that if a full time position does not come through for me over the summer that I can always go back to being a sub. Also I will have time to look for and apply for full time jobs once school is over. And if necessary I hopefully can find a good part time job that can supplement my substitute job once school is back in session. It sounds completely doable and logical, doesn't it? But I can't help but feel like I want more than this. It sounds good and respectable and like I am "doing something" about all this mess that I have found myself in but the truth is that I want so much more. I want to live in an exciting place, I want community and friendship, and I want to feel connected. I love the school that I work at and I love the people there because they are the reason that the school is such a great place to be but I still feel like an outsider there. I also am still not thrilled with Charlotte. Even though I am from here I just don't feel connected or comfortable being here. I think a lot of that does have to do with the fact that I don't have my own car and I don't have a lot of friends here. If I could get out more often and do things more independently I might feel different and if I could do that I might make some good friends and that would make it feel different too. But Charlotte is really not the kind of place that I have imagined myself being in. I like taking the metro/subway, I like walking where I need to go, and I like diversity. Charlotte is doing better on diversity but it doesn't compare in any of these areas to a DC or NYC. You have to drive everywhere to do things, then there isn't really a whole lot to do unless you have the money to participate in going to the opera or traveling companies of broadway shows. And Charlotte, to me, does not have a lot of mid-range activities. It's kind of like family oriented, cost effective fun on one end and then high brow, expensive activities on the other. I guess that there are subsets of Charlotte that I might find enjoyable but I don't know where those are. I guess you can create your own fun wherever you are. There's a neighborhood I have loved here for a longtime called Dilworth and if I ended up staying in Charlotte long term that is where I would like to live. It has great WW II era bungalow houses, sidewalk dining, and it's tree-lined and clean. I really like that neighborhood alot. It's hard to imagine being able to live there on an assistant's salary or even a teacher's salary. And of course I don't want to be living with my mother for the rest of my life. I just wish I could see where I will be down the road. What twists and turns in life will lead me to where I want and need to be? I really want stability. I want to know where I belong. I want to know what my purpose for being in this world is. I want to begin to fulfill that purpose. I want independence. I want a life and I want to live.
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