Waiting

It's been a little while since my last post but that is simply because I am waiting for the next step. Fortunately there is a next step just a few short weeks ago I didn't think that there was anything to move forward to or to wait on. It felt as if everything in the world had stopped for me and was moving for everyone else. But I experienced some positive progress in the month of January and in February. I went on two interviews within the last three weeks and I applied for several jobs online and I have another job that I am waiting for a response on hopefully by the end of the month. Waiting is hard but I feel hopeful and I have seen a lot of response in the last month and a half which is more than I experienced in the last three months of 2010.

I think part of the difficulty of waiting is that I am so ready and so anxious to get back to having a life. My life as it is now is not exactly how I had envisioned living at the age of 28, no money, no resources, living with one of my parents, no friends, in a small New Jersey town, and nothing to do but scan online news, read, journal, blog, and connect to social networks. I want and need to do so much more and it is so difficult to be cut off from being able to do things I really like to do like go to the movies, go to dinner, go to markets, even go to the library, or buy a new book. Maybe part of being reduced to nothing is to appreciate what you do have. My resources are limited and I don't go many places but I am thankful to have clothes, shelter, and food to eat which I was really worried about having when my contract ended in September. So there is truth to the old adage that there is a silver lining to every gray cloud.

I Wish There Was More to Say

Over the last two weeks I have been getting better acquainted with the New York museum community. I had two breakthroughs last week when I was accepted as a docent at the Museum of the City of New York and then interviewed for a collection's manager position at a historical site in Brooklyn. Now comes the hard part of figuring out what to do as I am constantly reminded of my lack of financial resources. I'm looking at working in New York which would require me to take the train from New Jersey and then the NYC Subway everyday or however many days I have to work in the City. The docent position is unpaid and the collection's manager position is part time. So I would still need a part time job on top of these two positions in order to be able to afford to do either or both. Dilemma. But there is more light at the end of the tunnel because I have started to notice a few museums that are posting jobs on their website. Hallelujah! I hope this is a sign of more jobs to come. It has really been weighing on me heavily to get back to having my own life. It was nice to take a forced time out from doing anything for a while but after so long you start to want to have the things you used to (i.e. girls nights, pajama days, being able to decorate). I do hope that within the next several weeks if not in a month I am working again regularly and in the next year I would like to be back in my own apartment. I know that I just have to keep being patient but despite my lapses into despair things are really looking up! And eventually there will be more to say.

The Help

I just finished an amazing book by Kathryn Stockett called The Help. This book really drew me in and made me so appreciative of good fiction/psuedo-autobiographical writing. The book takes place in Mississippi in the 1960s amongst changing ideals and race relations. It focuses on three women who are bound together by their lives in Jackson, Mississippi and how each ones decisions affect their friends, employers, and community. It is such a wonderful read and I hope that it's only the beginning from this very talented author. Thanks Tiffany for recommending it!

www.kathrynstockett.com

Write a Book

Today I woke up and thought about the fact that my new New Jersey license expires in 2014. That is the same year that the 40th anniversary of the Boston busing crisis will probably be examined. It was in 1974 when Judge Garrity decided to integrate Boston's public schools leading to violence and chaos that echoed the same scenes in Mississippi and Alabama in the 50s and 60s. The nation was even further shocked when in 1976 Ted Landsmark, a black lawyer living in Boston (who I have been fortunate to meet and speak with, was almost beheaded by an American flag in front of the mayor's office right before we celebrated our bicentennial. I wrote my Master's thesis on the 10 years prior to 1974 and how Boston's own civil rights movement has gone unnoticed for years. This morning a life goal was born to make my thesis a book by the same date of the Garrity decision in 2014.

Work to do!

Andrew's Birthday

Today is my good friend Andrew's birthday. I met him in the 9th grade although we had lived merely a street apart for years. Andrew quickly became one of my very best friends and I am very lucky to know him. He is kind, compassionate, hilarious, and intelligent. More than all those things he is a very good friend and his loyalty and friendship mean so much to me.

Here's to you Andrew! Happy Birthday!

It's Going to Be a Cover Letter Writing Snowy Weekend

The title says it all. After thinking that all hope was lost. I have newly discovered a job at a museum that I would like to work at. So this weekend I am writing the world's greatest cover letter in order to obtain said job! Whoo hoo! So that's pretty much it and the weather this weekend is supposed to be bananas. We'll see how much we actually get.

Ordinary Day

Yesterday I tried to get my driver's license changed over from DC to New Jersey but I wasn't able to because the machines were down at the DMV. So today I tried again. I went to the DMV and this time I was more sure of how to get there because I had already driven there yesterday. When I got there everything was silent and all eyes were on a security guard and a guy who were yelling at each other. Apparently heated words had been exchanged between them before I arrived and everyone was waiting and watching to see what was going to happen next. They eventually took it outside and the guy who was having the issues with the security guard never came back in. After getting my paperwork approved I ended up waiting 20 min in the wrong line to get my license changed over. Then I got into the other line and finally made it to the window with about 10 min before the DMV was going to close. I got all the paperwork approved and then the lady told me that it was going to be $34. I told her that I thought it was only $10. Apparently the physical license is $10 but you have to purchase a separate permit that costs you $24. So I had to use my gas money to get my license. Oh the irony of getting my license only to not have any gas money to get anywhere. So I just went ahead and paid because I was not coming back to the Fight Club DMV again until my license expires in 2014. So I made it out with my license and then rushed to the bank to deposit the money I had for gas before the check I just wrote would be cashed. On the way home I was overcome by the stress of not having enough money. Most of the time when I don't need anything and I don't have to go anywhere I forget that life is stressful but I was reminded of how necessary it is to have employment and how necessary it is to have resources. It was very depressing and I got really overwhelmed. But then I just took a deep breath and I just chose to focus on the fact that this week I did apply for several jobs and I had two positive contacts with the museum professionals that I spoke with earlier in the week. Even though it still feels like I am just waiting, waiting, waiting I have been actively pursuing not only my career but opportunities that would help me to bridge the gap to the career that I want.

Last week I watched a movie that I had not seen since college. It's called In America. It's a great movie that chronicles the lives of an Irish family that moves to New York in the 1980s. They come with great hopes and even though life is not easy for them when they get there, there are minor and major triumphs that keep them hopeful for the future. It was a great reminder that you have to take challenges and and embrace new circumstances for what they are. The family struggles with living in the past as they are having great difficulty in the present and they realize they have to let the past go. It's hard for them and they have trouble doing so but in the end they are the better for it. I was really inspired by this movie when I first saw it and I had thought about it not too long ago. It was so good to see it and I'm glad to be reminded of the truths that the movie presented.

The week is winding down and there is snow coming in this weekend. I think I am going to take some time and read and journal this weekend to brainstorm what I am going to do next. I feel like I have exhausted all possibilities but I am sure that there are more out there and I need to find them.

Just another ordinary day!

Hope Renewed Day 2

So far February is off to a really great start. Today I was able to speak with and leave messages with several of the contacts from my conversation yesterday. Yes! One I am happy that these people exist and two I am hopeful that they will be able to help me. I even have enough New York museum contacts now to create a group in my phone (which I did last night). After all of the happiness from these small first steps I thought,"How am I going to be able to afford to get to the City everyday?" Never fear I think there are options. I think that I will either find a part time job in New York that will allow me to do my research in the mornings or I will work here in New Jersey in the evenings and do research in the morning. I think I do finally know that research is my calling. I am really excited about being able to get back in the research game and getting the dust off of my brain. Facts and learning more facts is what I want to do with my life. Look out NYC here I come!

It's the First of the Month

The year is going by at a rapid pace but I think this year more than the past two years I feel that I am approaching this year with much less trepidation. I think it's a sign of good things to come. Today I had a great conversation with another museum professional who gave me some information about finding jobs in the New York area. Quite honestly I felt that I had exhausted all of my possibilities and I was feeling extremely lost and frustrated. Yet I was left with a new found energy for pursuing my dreams and also the feeling that New York was not just a girlish dream but in fact something that could (and will) actually happen. That gave me great hope. Also I was so thankful for the help from people who don't even know me. The person I spoke with today had previously emailed with me but we had never met face to face. But it was so great to know that someone who doesn't even know you would allow you to have access to their contacts and networks and give you direction about what to do to get a job. Most importantly she empathisized with me about how difficult it is to break into this field and just to get employed in general.



I feel refreshed. The pursuit is back on and I feel like it's going to lead to something great!