August Is Over

Well my goal of blogging more during August did not exactly pan out as I had hoped, but I will finish off the month with this post. Where did August go? I'm not sure but it has been a good month. I applied for some museum positions this month and I hope to hear from them soon. I also attended a fantastic event last Wednesday for the group Emerging Museum Professionals NYC. The event was held at the Museum of Arts and Design in Columbus Circle in NY. There was a reception after a short presentation in an event space at the museum that looked over Columbus Circle and looked over a corner of Central Park. After the event I went to a friend's house for dinner in Queens. It was a lovely evening and I am sure that I overstayed my welcome at my friend's because I seriously did not want the night to end. I didn't want to come back to Jersey. I wanted my museum job and I wanted my New York apartment and my new life. I am so ready to get out of Jersey and so ready to have my own life. I'm ready to have a purpose again and not just occupy space in this apartment. I want to create and to live. I am so bored! And for reasons I will not get into the last two weeks have just amplified that boredom and the need to have more to do than attend my church and occasionally go to the grocery store. I was so envious of the other young museum people that I met and my friend as well who has a really great job and life. I really want that so badly and two and a half years ago I thought that that was where I was heading until I was majorly set back and saw my dreams crumble. And the most frustrating part is that I have continuously pursued getting back on top and have not been able to get there yet. I've almost been without a job for a full year. I've done the consulting work and I am not complaining but I would really like to work a full time job and I would like to have health insurance and a retirement plan and vacation days that I can actually use because I have the money to go on a vacation. Not to mention that I have a ton of bills that need to be paid. I know I just need to keep being persistent and keep moving forward and I will get to where I need to be but I guess I'm reflective because I'm coming up on being in New Jersey for a year. I intend to be employed before I turn 29. My pastor this weekend declared that this next seven days would be the best days of 2010. I really want that and I am believing that for myself. I need a change and a turnaround in my circumstances. The last year has really been filled with some of the lowest moments of my life and I am ready to get out of this stage and phase and get to a good place financially, mentally, physically, and emotionally. And I realize that I can't let circumstances define how I feel or what I believe about myself or the future but I want more for my life than what I have been experiencing and I am NOT going to give up on myself.