I Know The Plans I Have for You

In Jeremiah 29:11 God says to Jeremiah, "I know the plans I have for you. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. To give you a hope and a future." Sounds good right? Well I have been wondering as my life takes all these twists and turns what kind of plans God has for me. Although I know that His word is true and that the words He spoke to Jeremiah apply to me too it sometimes feels like God's plans are to frustrate me at every turn and kill my hopes and dreams. I know that sounds harsh but it is truly how I feel. Today I was doing a devotional from my Women's Devotional Bible and it posed the question of why do the people of God seem to suffer when the wicked (I translate this to unsaved) seem to prosper. I instantly could think of several people who from my point of view are flourishing while it seems like I am struggling and fighting just to scrape by. What's that about? I wonder to myself, "How is it that this person lives this carefree life and does whatever they see fit to do and it goes great for them?" It seems as though over the last year I have had friends call me up and tell me great news of the things happening to them. And I am truly happy for their great news but I wonder when will I have great news too. My news is: I just got a part time job making slightly more than minimum wage. While their news is: I just moved into a fabulous apartment, got engaged and am having a big party. Not equal at all! But the devotion reminded me that suffering is a part of life and just because things seem okay on the outside doesn't always mean that everything is okay. And then I was also reminded of the fact that good things for all people whether they are saved or sinners come from God. He loves us all the same and is not a respector of persons so He won't show favortism. What I have been struggling with is going through this winter season of my life. Sometimes seasons last weeks, or months maybe even years. Beth Moore said that the seasons she has been through in her life seem to last 4 years. I have been in this winter season of my life for about 4 years. And it is frustrating when you are trying your best to make things work and constantly met with rejection. I feel like why can't one of the jobs that I really wanted have worked out for me. Why didn't one of them come through. I wasn't aiming that high. All the jobs that I applied for I could do and some of them I was definitely overqualified for. I can't reason it out or make sense of it. And that's just the way that it is. I can't figure out what God's plan is ahead of Him telling me and He already knows how it's working out so He's not worried about anything. It's just so aggravating to be on hold. You know how you call in to a company because you need help with something and after you have made it through all of the touch tone phone preliminary questions you have to listen to silence or bad music and then a little automated female voice comes on telling you to keep holding on the line and someone will be with you shortly. That is what I feel like my whole life is like right now. I am on hold. And I have to believe that this is God's plan for me because I sure didn't plan this for myself. If I had accomplished my plans it would have been to be in DC or New York working at a museum and living on my own maybe with a dog. And that's pretty much it. That would have been the dream realized and the goal completed. But instead I am months away from turning 30 with literally nothing to show for my twenties. No home of my own, no job, no friends, and living with my parents! It's like a Cathy cartoon but worse. That is how I feel. And these feelings will probably change maybe tomorrow or days after that. I'll eventually forget that I feel this way and move on with life. But what about those great plans that God said He had for me in Jeremiah 29:11? Surely this can not be it, right? Surely there is more. I sure hope so. This is not where I want to be and this is not what I want to be doing with my life. Alone day in and day out, feeling useless and helpless, and feeling left behind as others move on with their lives to bigger and better things. No! This cannot be it. I would feel so jipped if this was all there ever was. I worked hard to try and accomplish something with my life. I did summer internships, I went to college, grad school, I worked two jobs when I had to, and I kept a somewhat positive attitude in the face of adversity. I surely have put in time, effort, blood, sweat and tears. This can not be it! But I think that is why during times like this that I have to closely examine what God says in Jeremiah 29:11. He says He knows the plans He has for me. He says that they are good. He says that they will prosper me. He says I have a hope and a future. So even though my life looks like a disaster. Even though there is nothing but dry bones all around in this valley I am in. There is an assurance from the God that made the universe that He has good things in store for me. I believe that God wants me to have my dreams fulfilled because He's the one that gave them to me. I believe that He wants me to have joy and peace because His word says that in His presence there is fullness of joy. So I have to believe that it will all work out and that those plans He tells me He has will be fulfilled. And I am definitely in good company. Another devotion I did today was about Jeremiah crying out to God at a time when the people were in need of repenting for their sins. God had left them to be taken over by their enemies. Jeremiah asks the Lord where He is and why He has left them. He essentially says, "Don't you care about me? Why have you left me? Why am I all alone?" I feel you Jeremiah. Examining how Jeremiah felt, the same Jeremiah who received those great words from God in chapter 29, helped me to see that I am in very good company. If a prophet of God felt the same way I feel about my own situation a couple of thousand years ago then I would bet it's safe to say that I am having a normal reaction to what is going on. And Jeremiah was assured by God that there would be good things ahead of him even though there were some tough times that he had to go through. God tells him at the very beginning of the book that He has known him even before he was formed in his mother's womb. That's a pretty long time. Prophet Phil Capuccio who came to my church in New Jersey earlier this year said that everyone of us is here because God has a purpose for us. We're not born and then God tries to figure out what to do with us but He puts us here because there is work for us to do for him no matter what circumstances brought us here. So I just have to encourage myself like David did. I am definitely having a Ziklag moment. Everything seems to have been stolen and burned in my life but there is a way out, there is a hope and a future for me even if it takes seemingly "forever" to get to it!