Hair Update

Today I tried Miss Jessie's Quick Curls. It's a light weight, quick drying cream to create curls that don't take all day to dry. I tried it mainly because I wanted something that I could use when I don't have the time to dry my twist outs for a day and a half with Miss Jessie's Curly Meringue.

First of all I love the scent of Quick Curls it smells like lemongrass and citrus. I wanted an orange the whole time I was doing my hair. The formula is extremely light. I went a little heavy with the application because I wanted to be sure and get every part of my hair saturated. I shingled my hair as well working from the bottom to the top in small sections raking the product through my curls. I have to say that it keeps its promise as a light weight formula and also for its quick drying properties as well. At first when my hair was still drying I was concerned that I was not going to have successful results. My curls were very loose and looked as if they might start to frizz. But an hour to two hours after applying the product I had defined spirals and minimal shrinkage. My hair is still drying at this point about 4.5 hours later but is more than 80% dry. The true test of whether or not Quick Curls works for me will be when I twist my hair later tonight and then take it down tomorrow. Hopefully the curls will spring right back and I will have found my perfect go to wash-n-go styling product!

One Year Later

This Thursday marks a year since I have been in North Carolina. At the time that I came I really didn't want to come at all. I expected that I would only have to be hear maybe a month if not a little more than that. Over time I was able to see that I wanted to be here a little longer because there were things that I wanted to do here at the time. I wanted to go to my cousin's college graduation, my other cousin's baby shower and then visit her after the baby was born and I wanted to go to my aunt's 50th birthday party. All of that was happening over the summer months. So I thought that I would at least want to stay over the summer. I was fortunately able to stay over the summer and attend all of those events including a family reunion that I had not had the chance to attend in several years. It was a really good time because I had not seen a lot of my family in 5 years or more. But then at the end of the summer I had to make a decision about whether I was going to go back to New Jersey or stay in North Carolina. I honestly didn't want to do either. I wanted to move to New York. I applied for a great job in New York in August. I was really hoping that I would get it. After two weeks I sent a follow up email. But I never heard anything back from them. I was really stressed out about the decision because either place meant having to live with a parent and being completely dependent. Around that time I got a job announcement for a tutoring company that was hiring tutors for the upcoming school year. I decided to go ahead and apply thinking that I wouldn't get the position anyway. To my surprise I did get the job and I decided that since I had not been able to get the NYC job that maybe the Lord had made the decision for me. So I decided that I would stay. I continued to apply for jobs in NYC and also in DC on a whim. But I would not hear anything back from them. The job with the tutoring company started in November. It was difficult at first learning to work with young children but over time I came to enjoy it and the kids were so great. But the job was only until March, or so I thought. In late January I received a notice that our school's tutoring would come to an end in February. So I was left with another moment of decision to figure out what I would do next. I had been accepted as a substitute teacher in our school system in December but had yet to take any sub jobs because I was really intimidated by having to be in control of a classroom of students for a whole day. But as the end came nearer and nearer for the tutoring job I only had subbing as an option. I had applied for another NYC job and there had still not been an answer on that either. So I had to sign up and hope for the best. My first few times subbing were not too difficult. The kids were hard to contain but we made it through each day. Then I had some classes that made me seriously question whether or not I had made the right choice. However, I had to remind myself that I am not a teacher. When I walk into the classroom I am just a proxy for the teacher. My job essentially is just to convey to the students what the teacher has already planned for them to do and to make sure that they don't kill each other in the course of the day. So I have been subbing regularly for about a month. It's had it's ups and downs but there have been rewarding moment along the way. But now I am faced with another moment of decision. The end of the school year is coming and I have to find something else to do. I have a good two months before even the sub jobs will not be available. So I am left once again wondering what the next step is. It's really got me in a funk. The thing I desire most in the world is stability. I want to know that there is a place that I belong. I want to know that there is a job for me to do. I want to have my own home. I want to be more than the background of someone else's life. Lately I have been feeling like I am just an extra in life. Like a leftover part when you take something apart. It feels as if there is nothing important or substantial for me to do except to help other people accomplish what they need to do. It also doesn't help that I have been battling extreme loneliness for the last several months. I have felt that whenever I have tried to share my feelings about all these things that I am facing and going through in my life that the people I am entrusting these feelings to have dismissed, trivialized and ignored my revelations. So loneliness compounded with confusion and anxiety about what will happen next have left me feeling like I am on the edge. Last night I went to bed thinking, "I wish I could just disappear." I honestly wish it was possible. But I know that it is not. I just have to keep going believing that at some point it will get better. At some point there will be a yes instead of a no and that things will shift and change. I'll get my own life back and I won't have to continue on feeling like a robot. Sometimes I feel like my life is just a show or going through the motions. I put on a happy face and a smile and do what I am told or asked. I listen when other people have problems. I pretend that it doesn't hurt my feelings when someone hurts me or forgets me or brushes me aside. But you can only repress emotions for so long. I have been on an emotional roller coaster for several months and I am finally dizzy from it. My mother left on a trip for work this morning but the last 12 hours with her were nothing but orders of what to do while she was gone. It was not only what to do but how to do it. Things that I have done hundreds of times I was told how to do as if I was in elementary school. I feel like sometimes I am treated differently because I don't have a job. I feel like sometimes people talk around me or over my head or talk about me like I am not even a part of the conversation. A friend of mine was talking at the table a few weeks ago to another friend asking about what was going on with that person. They wanted to know how their job was going and what their successes and accomplishments had been. They were really excited for that person. That friend never asked me what I was doing. They never even posed the question. I mentioned that I had been substitute teaching and I received a blank stare before they went on to the next topic of conversation. That same person had done the same thing to me just two months earlier. Joyce Meyer was the first person I ever heard say that, "You who is not your do." I wish more people in my life knew this or at least acted like they did if they already know because they continually place emphasis on what they do and by doing so just magnify the fact that I don't have a do right now. I remember my mother telling me several years ago that who I am was not my resume. I had been rejected from more jobs than I can remember at this point in time and I was down about it. She was saying that just because my resume was being rejected that it didn't have anything to do with me personally but I begged to differ. It was very personal to me each time my resume was rejected and even now when its rejected it is tough to shake off. I feel like my resume is me on paper. And if they don't like me on paper they must not like me as a person. It is a very disheartening thing to continually be rejected. I have been applying for full time jobs for 4 years now and I have not gotten past a first round interview. It's so frustrating because I felt like I did everything right and worked had to get the right credentials to get in only to be stopped at the threshold of making it over into the workforce. I think at this point in this entry it goes without saying that it has been a very difficult year. I can't even believe that it has only been a year because it feels like much longer. But it will have been only a year this Thursday. I always am fascinated to look back one year ago and think about what I was doing. Generally when I am looking back at the previous year it is from a perspective and place, emotionally or physically, that I would not or could not have imagined during that previous year. The same holds true for this year. Looking back a year ago I was getting off a plane from EWR in Charlotte expecting the trip to only last a month or a month and a half at best before getting to go back to New Jersey which was at that point starting to feel like home to me. I cannot say the same for Charlotte. Although I grew up here I feel like a stranger. It has changed so much in the last ten to fifteen years that it really does not resemble the Charlotte I grew up in. Also because of my lack of independence and transportation I have not made any friends here and if I had there would be no way for me to see them on a regular basis. I feel extremely alienated here. I really have no desire to stay here unless God should instruct me or put it on my heart to do so and even then it would probably resemble Jonah being instructed to go to Nineveh, ("Aww, man do I really have to God?"). I really hope that on March 27, 2013 when I am looking back on March 27, 2012 that it is from a different place, physically and emotionally. I hope that by that time I have found my home city, a home of my own, a full time job, and a community. I really hope that this next year is a year of changes for the better. I want to win. I want to experience good things. I want to be happy. I feel emotionally and physically exhausted. I am frustrated and aggravated constantly and I realize that much of that may be the enemy trying to derail me from thinking that God has anything good for me or that He still remembers me hanging on the end of the branch scared to death I am getting ready to fall. But a lot of it is me. I easily get worked up and can think myself into a bad mood in just a few minutes. It's hard to ignore the bad things, think on the good things, and see good things coming in the future as well. It's hard to do but I know that that is the only way I will get out of this mess I am. And I have relinquished the situation to God because I am at the end of myself. I know that it will not change in and of my own strength. It's a job for Jesus. T.D. Jakes reminded the crowd at Code Orange Revival to know that when you are at rock bottom that you are just right for Jesus. So I know that I am just right for Jesus because I am at rock bottom. Yesterday I was waiting for a job to start at a school but I had to be dropped off early because my mom had meetings to go to and didn't have the time to take me at the time that I was supposed to be there. I had to stand at a shopping center until it was time to go to the job. I started getting misty eyed as I was standing there because 5 years ago I never would have imagined myself without a place to go in the morning or a job to do. I never would have imagined that I would be standing around at a shopping center at 8:30 am without a place to go. But I was encouraged by more words from T.D. Jakes. God is in the business of increasing you, not diminishing you. He wants to add to you, not take away from you. You have to believe and know that is is getting better because the enemy wants you to think that God has forgotten you and that you don't have anything to live for but you can't serve God and be on a decline. It's getting better. One of my favorite songs on the radio right now is "My Testimony" by Marvin Sapp. Last year his wife went to be with the Lord after a battle with cancer. He could have given up on God when his wife died but he chooses to see the good. The last line of the song says, "In spite of calamity, He still has a plan for me, it's working for my good." My life in the last few years has been one calamity after another but I believe just like Marvin sings that God has a plan for me and it's going to work out for my good. I am believing for a mountain top experience because I have been in this valley long enough.

Hair Update: Shea Moisture to the Rescue...AGAIN

I blogged not too long ago about how my hair had become so dry and I was having a hard time pinpointing a product that was natural but would also help preserve my twist outs, especially with the heat and humidity of summer coming. Well I looked online and thought there were some things that might be able to help me. One of the things that I wanted to try was Oyin Handmade Whipped Pudding. I liked that is was affordable ($11) and was described as being moisturizing but light. I went to Target first to see what I could find. There was Curly Buttercreme, of course, but I didn't want to have to shell out $32 and also have the petroleum, glycerin, mineral oil, lanolin, and other synthetic ingredients in my hair especially since they could clog my pores as it gets hotter and I perspire. So I looked at what they had at Target and to my surprise they had Hair Rules products from the Hair Rules Salon in NYC created by Anthony Dickey. I seriously thought about trying his moisture product but upon further examination of the ingredients they were the same as Curly Buttercreme but with a lighter smell than the buttercreme. I thought about the Kera Care Natural Textures Hair Milk but I felt like it was a little too thick for me and I wasn't wild about the smell. So I left that Target without any product for moisturizing. Later I went to another Target because I was at the point where I was going to get some Curly Buttercreme or order something off the Internet. I was walking through the hair product isle for multicultural girls and I noticed the Shea Moisture Products. I have almost the whole line for the Coconut Hibiscus products but I noticed the Curl and Style Milk. I had watched several reviews of this product and I had also read on blog sites that it was a go to moisturizer or leave in that a lot of curlies like. So I decided that for $10 I could afford to give it a try and if it didn't work I would go back to Curly Buttercreme for good. So that night I used the Curl and Style Milk to twist up my hair. I used about a quarter size amount on each twist, not too much. The next morning I untwisted my hair to find that on my week old frizzy twist out there was definition, shine, and softness. I used it the night after as well and I got the same results the next day. I only used it two days but I LOVE this product. I love the scent, which smells just like the Curl Enhancing Smoothie. I also love how light it is and that it provides hold and definition. Also the product is organic and natural which means when it is hot this summer I won't have to be worried about my scalp getting clogged with all the stuff in other not natural products. So I am really thrilled with the product. I also picked up some Miss Jessie's Quick Curls which I plan to try to see if it can be a wash and go styler for me on those weeks when I don't have two days for my hair to dry. I will definitely do a product review of it as well.

You Know School of Rock? It's Not Like That

This past week was my first full week of substitute teaching. Why they don't offer a Nobel Prize for Teaching, I will never know. But up until last Monday I had only been a sub three times, one time didn't really count because I watched a class and another teacher did all the work. So on Thursday of the previous week I was only subbing for my third time. A little girl coughed on me ironically as I was giving her hand sanitizer and by Saturday I was fully congested and had a soar throat. Sunday I added a cough to the list and that was how I started Monday. I didn't know if I could make it on Monday but I was motivated by the need for cash and the fact that it is a pretty steady way of keeping a job that has great hours and other rewards as well. I had previously been with second grade and Kindergarten which were a handful, I hoped that third grade would be a little better. I was wrong. I had third grade three days this week and my only comment on the experience is that I am glad we are all alive, me and the children. The last two days of the week I thought that I would find solace in fifth grade only to learn that it comes with its own issues as well. The thing I had to keep learning and telling myself was that I just had to go with the flow. The flow was a rushing, whitewater river not a delicate stream. But I blessed to have some teachers and support staff who came to my aid just when I thought I would be swallowed up whole by the difficulties of each day. Everyone should hug a teacher. They really are on the same level of public service with police and the fire department, we just don't know how much so. I also had the blessing of being at one school the whole week which makes and incredible difference because you become comfortable in the environment and you get to know the people and they get to know you and that can be a great help when you are in trouble or in need.

I also learned some things about myself as well. Although I am not a self-professed "kid person", I really like children and I enjoy being with them. Another thing I learned which was not a surprise to me was that I am not tough in the sense that I am not intimidating. I would yell to get these children to try and do what I wanted them to do but they looked me dead in my face and turned right back around and kept doing what they were doing. I have not developed the ability to scare a child which I kind of like about myself. I hope that I don't have to substitute teach long enough to develop that because it just makes for a hard day for everyone. Instead my go to plan is just getting rid of behaviour problem children and hoping that the rest will do what they need to do. It's a learning process and I just starting out so I have to keep reminding myself that this is not my forte. I am learning and I just hope to get better as each new job comes.

Why the Drama?

Today I got an update from YouTube that there was a new video post by Taren916. If you aren't familiar with Taren Guy, she is a vlogger on natural hair and hair care products. She has had a YouTube channel for about 3 years maybe more. I learned so much about taking care of my hair and what products to use from watching Taren's videos. It really was like having a teacher for how to do my own natural hair. Well anyway Taren has come up in the world since her humble beginnings of bringing us reviews of products and hair care techniques from her bedroom. She still does the reviews but the products are a little bit higher level and her reach and access have far exceeded her local Ricky's hair care store and neighborhood salons. She has been to NYC Fashion Week, touted among the most well known of natural hair bloggers/vloggers, and has even participated in private events for companies such as Carol's Daughter. So in the past year or so Taren has really taken her notability and used it to brand herself and become a figure in the natural hair care world in her own right. So happy for her that she is being recognized for her inner and outer beauty and knowledge of natural hair care.

Well today's video featured Taren receiving a custom made wig from the Hair Rules Salon in NYC owned by Anthony Dickey, a hair care expert, author, and creator of his own product line by the same name. Taren had posted a video a few weeks ago where she met with one of the Hair Rules stylists to talk about getting a custom made wig in order to protect her hair while it is growing out from a big chop last year. I watched the video and liked it. As usual I just scrolled down the list of comments to see what people were saying about the video. It seemed like most people enjoyed the video and enjoyed seeing Taren receive the new custom hair piece. Other people were in shock over the price and still others were just hating on Taren because they felt that she was not so much vlogging about hair care and products as she was "selling" or freely advertising for Hair Rules. It was an interesting conversation and an interesting look into what happens when someone receives some advancement or popularity that allows them to do what others cannot do.

First there was the price of the wig. Dailey, Taren's stylist for the previous video and the one showing her receiving the wig noted that the price for this product starts at $850.00. Okay, granted most people are not going to be able to buy a wig that even costs half of that amount, but this wig was apparently a gift to Taren from Anthony Dickey and Hair Rules. There is nothing wrong with that at all. But what I think some of the people who commented on this were upset about was that Taren was doing this review for the product and they may have felt that she was overlooking the fact that most of her subscribers are regular people who cannot afford to partake of this service from this salon. Most of them may not even be able to walk into Hair Rules and get anything done to their hair because the prices start in the $100s for their services. I think some people may be mad at the fact that her bringing them this information is not relatable to their world. It's kind of how when someone might start out singing at the club down the street and you can hear them for free on an open mic night and then they might become more famous and you have to pay to see them. Then they might sign a record deal and then you have to pay a lot of money to see them from the nose bleed seats. I think some people might be upset at the fact that they feel like when Taren started out they could relate to her because she used the same store brand products (Honda Civic products) but now she can afford or is even gifted with high end products (Mercedes-Benz products). I think people feel like Taren has moved up in the world and they have not and so they cannot relate to these experiences that she is having and it also may lead to some jealousy or envy or self-pity. With all the YouTube channels that there are how can we know what makes some popular and some not. Taren has over 70,000 followers on her channel and so she has been able to turn what used to be product reviews and tutorials into a business. There may be some people who are leaving all the negative comments on her channel who have tried to create what Taren has and have not succeeded because they lack the growing viewers and the interest. If it doesn't work out for you then you have to decide whether you will keep trying to do it for yourself or if you will quit and try something else. For Taren it has worked out.

I feel like people are being unfair to Taren because it is her channel ultimately and she can put on it what she wants to. Also in the beginning her channel was all product reviews and hair care tutorials. As with anything over time it is going to grow and change. Taren's channel has grown and changed as her interests and experiences have grown and changed. And she has been fortunate enough to be able to have some experiences that none of us would ever have in life and she has shared them on her channel. So I think it is actually a really cool thing that she has shared these behind the scenes moments with hairstylists, product developers, and other naturalistas because through it we all can learn and grow from the advice and information that Taren has shared.

I just felt the need to comment on the situation because I felt like people were being really petty about the whole thing. I really hope that people will stop the negative comments and be supportive of people who are doing the things that they wish that they could do or who are achieving their own goals.

Here is the video:

Hair Update

The last few weeks have been difficult, hair-wise, due to the changes in the weather and the change in my products. With the weather change I was not able to keep up the amazing twist-outs that I had in November, December and January. My hair has become much drier and also I ran out of the Miss Jessie's Curly Meringue that I had been using during the previous months. I had to use the Curly Pudding that I had bought as a part of the BOGO sale of Miss Jessie's. I wish I had gotten two of the Meringue instead because I think it is my go to styling product. It just does so well in my hair and makes it look great! So after the problems that I was having with my twist-outs and dry hair I turned to the natural hair YouTube community to seek advice. What I noticed was that I may have to change up one of my staple products. I have been using Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie for almost a year, the same jar mind you (it's so worth the $10), and have been getting great results with it. But I think that it is too heavy for my hair and what I am in need of now is a light weight leave-in conditioner that can give added moisture to my delicate curls. I like so many other curlies was under the impression that my hair was coarse and thick but in the time that I have been natural have discovered that my hair strands are actually quite thin and my hair's thickness is medium. I think I believed that I had thick, coarse hair because when it was being relaxed it felt like that was the texture of my hair. However, in recent months I have noticed that I have definite curls in my hair. I have been fully natural going on 3 years this May. So my actual hair texture is coming through and it has changed the way that I view and treat my hair. I watched some reviews on leave-ins that I would like to try in the future such as Hair Rules Nourishment Leave-In Conditioner and Karen's Body Beautiful Sweet Ambrosia or Hair Nectar Leave-Ins. But since I did not have access to those today I used Kera Care Natural Textures Leave In Conditioner. I had received a sample pack at Christmas and didn't think that I would have occasion to use it since I was satisfied with the Shea Moisture.

So after washing, conditioning and deep conditioning, for which all those products have remained the same, I applied a mix of jojoba and tea tree oil and a dime size of Carol's Daughter Hair Milk Lite. After those I used the Kera Care Natural Textures Leave In Conditioner. The product is more like a gel than a cream and it is opaque in color. It is made with Amla, Shikakai, Argan Oil, Abyssinian Oil, and Fruit Extracts. It has a nice smell and I applied it to one of four sections of my hair at one time to make sure there was even distribution. It was very lite and even though I took the directions' advice to apply generously I did not feel like it weighed my hair down or made it sticky or clumpy. I had used a leave-in from Kera Care a while ago when I was straightening my hair with a blow dryer to press it and also when I first went natural. That leave-in was more of a cream but worked very well and I would say that this leave-in I like even better than the one that I used before.

Next week I am planning on getting some new products to use on my hair. I have wanted to try the Karen's Body Beautiful for a long time and plan to get the Hair Nectar Leave-In Conditioner and the Butter Love Moisturizer. I am looking forward to trying both of these products because I have heard good things about them from YouTube and natural hair websites. Fortunately there is a hair care store that sells these products but they are available to be ordered online from the Karen's Body Beautiful website.

It is a never ending journey with natural hair. I feel like once I think I have it all figured out the game or the weather changes. But I guess it keeps life exciting. But I will be sure to give a review of how today's hairstyle turns out with the addition of the Kera Care leave-in and the subtraction of my Shea Moisture. It's not a loss because the majority of products I use are Shea Moisture anyway!

I'm Not The Only One

Sometimes when you're going through a difficult time you feel like the only one who is going through difficulty. It is hard to remember that everyone goes through tough times, maybe not as long or even longer than the time that you are going through. Yesterday was a tough day. I had a substitute teaching job with what I thought was going to be some cute pre-schoolers but then turned out to be some tiresome second graders. They were cute no doubt but there temper tantrums and conspiring together to get me to do things there teacher never did was a mental drain. At the end of the day I was affirmed in my knowledge that teaching is a calling and my phone is not ringing. But all in all it was not a bad way to make a few bucks. But I was reminded of the fact that no matter the ease that may come with filling in for a teacher I still need something that pays more and is permanent. On Tuesday the screw fell out of my glasses and so on Wednesday when I was with the little darlins all day I had to keep re-applying Scotch tape to my brokedown glasses. Which was a reminder of how 1. I need money and 2. If I could afford contacts that would not have been happening. I had to get over it real quick because those kids were trying to sabotage me at every turn. But we survived the day together and I'll be happy when I get the check next week!

But today I was encouraged by two devotionals that I read and a reminder from the T.D. Jakes message that I heard in January. The first devotion that I had today was an excerpt from something written by Amy Carmichael. She wrote that she believed that God leads us just like He led the Israelites out of Egypt and to the Promised Land. She said that just like the Israelites were told to cross the Red Sea there may be times where God makes the crossing of certain rivers or problems in our lives very easy and He does all the work for us. Then there are times when we have to participate in the crossing by doing more than just walking through. She pointed out the crossing of the Jordan that Joshua led the people on to get to the Promised Land. The Jordan was overflowing because it was the harvest season and so like the Red Sea the Israelites could not just walk over but they needed help from the Lord to get across. This time instead of just standing back and letting God part the waters they were instructed to have the priests step into the water. Nothing happened beforehand to let them know how it was going to work out but instead they were just given one instruction for what they were to do next. Even though there was not an explanation of how having the priests step into the water was going to get them across they had to follow that instruction to get to the next part. So when the priests stepped into the water that was the action that caused the water to be held back so that the people could cross over to the other side. Amy Carmichael said that we too have to be ready to step into the water even when it looks like nothing is going to happen. When God leads us or tells us to do something on our way to getting to a specific goal or place we have to obey even if it looks likes nothing is going to happen. She said:

"You and I must be sure of what we are called to do, with an inward conviction that absolutely nothing can shake. Only God and those who have to walk in that path know how hard this kind of faith-life can be. But He does know. If only the next step is clear, then the one thing to do is take it! Don't pledge your Lord or yourself to any steps beyond what you know. You don't see them yet. We don't walk spiritually by electric light, but by a hand-held lantern. And a lantern shows only the next step - not several steps ahead."

The next devotion I had was when the people went to Jericho and they were told to march around the city for 7 days and then give a victory shout. The devotion talked about how good it must have felt to the people to finally have victory and to be out of that long waiting period that they had been in. It talked about the waiting periods that we all go through for something to happen. They are difficult and may leave you thinking that you will never get to where you want to be but the devotion gave a reminder to know that God is right there with you and He is working behind the scenes to prepare you to reach your goal and claim your victory.

Both of these devotions reminded me of something T.D. Jakes said in his Code Orange Revival message. He said that sometimes it looks like everyone around us is getting blessed or getting what they want or far exceeding us where we are. I had heard the same thing from Joyce Meyer as well. Sometimes we have to go through a time where everyone around us gets everything we want but it is just a test. We have to pass the test and we have to get to the point where we are excited and happy for those people no matter what is going on in our own lives. I have lived through these kinds of moments so many times in the past two years whether it was an iPhone, a new home, a new job, a vacation, an engagement or a wedding that someone I knew was telling me about. It took all of my self-control and patience to smile and congratulate when what I wanted to do was have a fit or burst into tears. There's a scene in It's a Wonderful Life where George and Mary's friend Sam drives up looking like a million bucks and riding in a chauffeured new car. His girlfriend  has on a fur and way nice jewelry. After Sam and his friend ride off on a sunny Florida getaway George and Mary have to climb into their tin can of a car and drive themselves back to their falling down and apart house. Before getting into the car George kicks the door shut in a fit of anger. I have had many days where I have felt like I am George and the free world is Sam. But the devotions as well as the messages that I have heard are reminders that I am not the only one who has been down this path and that according to those who have gone before this does not always last, there's a stopping point and a turn around. The movie didn't end with George driving off in his crappy car. The movie ended with all his friends and family surrounding him and helping and celebrating him in his hour of need. The movie ended with victory for George. 

So today I was encouraged to keep holding on and to know that these work-a-day jobs, living like a gypsy and ,hopefully,living in Charlotte are not the end for me. There will come a time of having more than enough and walking in victory if I can keep playing til I win and believing that God is leading me to cross the waters of my problems to get to my Promised Land.