Resurrected Dreams

I posted earlier this week about the Easter Sunday service at my church in New Jersey. My pastor's wife prayed for people who needed a resurrection of their dreams and goals. I was listening to her as she described what she meant by that. She quoted a verse that I have been reading on and off for the last several years. That verse is Proverbs 13:12 which says "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but desire fulfilled is a tree of life." I thought to myself, "Yep. That's where I am and have been for a long time." At first I wasn't going to go but I am so desperate for change in my life that I practically ran up the aisle. But the verse is so true. When you have a dream, goal or vision for your life and it seems to be happening and then doesn't come to fruition it can make your heart sick. You agonize over what did you do and what could you have done differently and why is this happening to you. I used to hear all the time that this is a process that people who are being used by God will go through. And I would think to myself, "Why do I have to be used? Can't I just be normal and have a normal life like everybody else?" But then after more Bible reading and insight from different pastors and teachers I realized it was a very great thing indeed to have God, the creator of the whole universe insert Himself into your life. Often times I think we envision God as being far off and preoccupied with other things but I think that more ofen than not God is involving Himself in the lives of everyday people to help shape, mold, and make them into the best that they could possibly be. It doesn't come without some pain and frustration getting through that process but if you want to live your best life and experience all that God has for you it is a necessity to go through the process. Yesterday I read a chapter in a little book called, "How to Experience More Miracles in Your Life." It is a book by Marilyn Hickey and her daughter, Sarah. Mom and I got this book a couple of weeks ago when we went to hear Marilyn at a local church in Charlotte. The book talks about how to put faith in action through partnering with a ministry. Through partnership you can recieve the blessing that is on that particular ministry and experience miracles in your life. I was reading a chapter about dreams and Marilyn used the example of Joseph, who had the ability to interpret dreams. Joseph seemed to go from bad to worse over the course of 17 years. His brothers wanted to kill him but instead sold him into slavery, then he was accused of raping his master's wife and put into a dungeon, and then when he did a favor for a fellow prisoner they forgot all about him when they got out. Marilyn explained how each of us goes through a similar process to what Joseph went through in our own lives. We have a dream or a goal and we take pride in it. We seem to be headed in the direction of fulfilling that goal when something takes it away for us. For Joseph that was being sold into slavery to the Egyptians. It appeared as if there was not going to be any opportunity for him to fulfill his goals for his life because he was separated from his family and his people and he was going to be in servitude to someone else. Marilyn described this as the "death process". This is the process where it seems that the dream has died. She explained that the dreams we have end up costing us a lot more than we ever think or imagine they will. Often times it is in the death process that people give up and abandon their dreams because it seems as if there is no way for the dream to ever "live" again. Joseph could have certainly given up at any point but he held onto the hope that there would be a way for him to get out of prison and be able to fulfill his dreams. We often will have to give our dreams over to God and "abandon" them for a short time in order to get them back. But the good news is that God is able to resurrect our dreams supernaturally and make them even better than what we thought that they would be. Joseph thought that the cupbearer was his last chance. Maybe at the point that he interpreted the cupbearer's dream and he got out and then Joseph didn't hear from him, Joseph thought to himself, "Oh well. I will just be here doing administration in the prison for the rest of my life." But God had another plan. He positioned Joseph exactly where he needed to be in order for his dreams to be fulfilled and his gifts and talents to be used. The cupbearer did remember him, albeit two years later, and this time Joseph interpreted the dreams of the most powerful man in the world, Pharoah. This led to his being taken out of prison, clothed in the finest linen, Pharoah's own ring being placed on his hand, and a new job most likely better than anything Joseph had dreamed. But the key is that Joseph didn't get there over night he had waited patiently for 13 years and he had proved himself faithful in everything that he was assigned during that time. Even though it didn't look like it he was building up his skills and abilities as an administrator in preparation for his new job as second in command to Pharoah.

I have blogged several times about my own story and how at times I have felt very hopeful that things would change only for them not to work out and I have shared how I have been more than frustrated and upset with the way things were going. I think these are normal emotions to have when you go through things that you don't quite understand. But I do feel that I have not given up. Even when I have tried to something has pulled me back to keeping hopeful that things are going to change. When I read Marilyn Hickey's words about resurretion and was immediately taken back to the previous Sunday and Pastor Gale's words I feel like that was God telling me to hold on and that when the time comes for the dream to be resurrected it won't disappoint me. I look forward to it and am really excited about it. It was almost a year ago that Pastor Dave spoke a word from the Lord into my life about having stability and being planted and that I was not in New Jersey by mistake. So I have tried to hold on to that word and think about it whenever it feels like I have been forgotten and that things are getting worse. Just yesterday I got a rejection email for a job in Boston. Obviously that wasn't the right job or right place for me. And the email even said that it wasn't because I wasn't qualified, it was because I wasn't the most qualified according to them. But God will give me and equip me with all the skills and abilities that I need to be able to do whatever it is that He has called me to do so I am not worried about that.It was 3 years ago in March when my life blew up and fell apart and my dream of living in DC and working for the Smithsonian seemingly died. I was crushed, devastated, hopeless. But I believe that it happened for a reason because I needed to learn things about myself, change things about myself, and also be in a position to experience better. I believe that the dream that I had was a good one but possibly not the best that I could have and so I think I experienced a setback in order to be setup for a comeback. I probably wouldn't appreciate what is going to happen in the future near as much as I will now because it has been such a grueling process in order to get to it. But I am really thankful and grateful for what I have been through in order to get to where I am going. i believe that my dreams are being resurrected!